Four days and counting

My days as a cancer patient are drawing to a close, (in a good way, not as in i'm about to face the final curtain- frank sinatra/sid vicious,) I have only four sessions of radiotherapy left! Roll on thursday. It has to be said though, although i was forwarned about the possible side effects of the treatmant, i really didn't expect it to be the struggle to get through that it has. I wasn't prepared for this level of damage to my skin, and certainly wasn't prepared for this much pain. Aside from the skin damage, the rt has caused inflammation to all the internal scarring from the operation which is almost as painful as things were the week or so after the op. As well, all the burnt skins itches like crazy.
So when i'm done with all of this what will become of this blog? Well i think it too is drawing towards a natural conclusion. I wanted to provide a narrative to my journey as a cancer patient, possibly one that others in similar circumstances may find not nessercarily comforting but prahaps insightful. More than that this blog became a cathartic process for me to better understand my own turmoil of emotion. I don't think i'm done unraveling my own feelings about all of this but i think its time i picked up a paintbrush and at least exploited my illness as subject matter to further expand my portfolio. I think people have found all of this at times unsettling to read, whilst my mother says i am refeshingly honest i think most others would say brutally so. I think i have missed huge chapters of this, radiotherapy has made me too apathetic to blog all the time and to some degree, due to the way some people have responded to all of this, i have lost my confidence in what i'm doing. Maybe i will go back and fill in the blanks. Right now i'm too tired, too morphined, and I don't even know what i'm trying to say. I guess i felt like i should write some kind of conclusion.